I’m sitting on the couch curled up like a chicken nugget, contemplating my existence. All this really inspiring and beneficial stuff has been happening lately, but I’ve been having such a trouble writing it out. I think it’s because I’m just letting it all circulate and form a final thought…but growth takes time. It takes time to make sense of things.
Today was a bit of a weird day. Maybe it was the moon’s full energy that caused my total lack of sleep. Speaking of the moon; I’ve been watching this documentary series on Netflix called “Cosmos:A Spacetime Odyssey”, which is about the nature of time and space. It’s completely incredible; I feel like I’m in 8th grade science class when I watch it. What I love so much is how it scientifically backs up the spiritual belief that we are all so connected to the universe on such a fundamental level, and how intertwined we are in the creation of every being on this earth. Everything makes sense when you can connect the dots between the words that we say and hear and the evidence of existence; Behavior patterns, energies, changes.
I complained to my friend Yassine that I couldn’t sleep, so he sent me a link to these Gregorian chants, intended for intense relaxation. This album is so beautiful it’s actually hard to contemplate how sounds could make you feel so in love with air. Just put it on while you read the rest of this article and by the end you will either be crying or feel like a gummy worm.
As most Los Angeles social shenanigans usually play out, the cancellation rate stands at 85%. And today was a full 85% kind of day. So Saturday was a “me” day, as much as I wasn’t entirely anticipating or wanting that. But it is what it is;what can you do but flow with the changes?
Life has been pretty mellow. I’m just existing in this physical world, learning new things every day; feeling the pokes and prods and waves of emotions, and then letting them pass through me and over me, trying not to hold on to old habits and negative thoughts…trying to just let things be. Ha, TRYING to just let things be…which entirely contradicts the point of letting things be.
It’s such an adventure; standing on two feet. I’ve been walking down this windy path deep into spirituality and wisdom lately, doing yoga every day, twice a day, reading about Buddhist life philosophy, and suffering tremendously. I can’t get enough of all this emotional release that’s coming from my stretching, particularly in the major body muscles, like the psoas, hamstrings, and hips. I heard this quote the other day that was this:
“The body is a battleground for the wars we wage in our mind. But, maybe if we can change the conversations we have with ourselves…it will become a playground”.
Isn’t that the truth.
It’s all consumed my life…I think out of necessity. But maybe it’s good to desperately need something to pull you out of your bucket of poison so that you can see how powerful it is when you’re standing at the edge, looking down at all that toxic waste.
I feel like a toddler, learning all this new stuff that I was so blocked off from for so many years. It’s kind of fantastic.
Time to crawl back into my crib now and fall asleep to my Gregorian chants.